Little Moments.

I took my kids to Lowes the other day, because my sis in law alerted me to a coupon in last month's Better Homes and Gardens where can you get a free 8 oz sample of Valspar paint in one of their new Fall colors. Oh and plus, things were getting straight up wild here.

Last Christmas I found a really cute little wooden crib with wheels on Craigslist. I bought it for ten dollars and painted it white. I sewed a little mattress cover and pillow out of red and white ticking fabric and stuffed both with stuffing from an old pillow. It's the sweetest little thing and my 5 year old daughter loved it! She puts her dolls in it all the time.
That day, however, the crib realized a brand new purpose.



I was sitting in my chair in the living room, sipping my coffee, when I heard the sound of rolling wheels and cries of joy. Even the baby was squealing with delight! I watched in utter horror as my 9 month old rolled by me in the small wooden crib.

She was a mere blur - going the pace of a small car on the highway. Her hair (which is already wild enough to make my husband compare it to Lyle Lovett's tangly mane) was whipping in the wind as she sped through the living room. I swear to you, I think she gave me a thumbs-up on her way by.

Although she seemed perfectly safe and content, I decided it was really time to get in the car, mainly so that everyone could be strapped in place just long enough for my blood pressure to resolve itself.
So everyone got dressed and we headed out into the freezing, pouring rain for a lovely drive to the store.

Why are they always so blissfully unaware?!

We made it across the parking lot with no major incident except for maybe giving an elderly couple a panic attack.

Family destroying Planet Earth.

Honestly, what the heck? We're not even really a big family, in my opinion. Most of our friends have way more kids than us, and they're spreading way more joy than the miserable-ass population whiners out there.
Anyway, we just smile and wave and let people think there's a parade going on. Our cart can be the float.

When we got into the store, I decided to avoid any begging or whining by just marching my kids right on over to the obnoxious blow up Christmas lawn objects and letting them gawk to their heart's content.

I'm sorry, but he looks way too inviting. lol

Nothing says Christmas like a blow up penguin wearing a Christmas hat and spontaneously shaking every two minutes like he's having a gran mal seizure or doing the inflatable Harlem Shake.
Oh, he's cold, you say?

brrrrrr....

No he's not.  He's a frickin PENGUIN. They live in the ARCTIC. He can handle the chill of Lowes hardware store.

Whatevs. My kids were so thrilled, and that's all I cared about. People saw them being thrilled and they, in turn, were also thrilled and it was all very sweet and verrry thrilling.

Okay, okay. You know what? I love how my kids get so happy over little things. I think it's awesome, and they are awesome, and they brought me plenty of joy just by being so filled with wonder and awe. I mean, they don't look at that big fat penguin and think sarcastic thoughts the way I do. They just take it for what it is and let it fill them with unbridled joy.

Then we rounded the corner and came face to face with a life sized evil skeleton of hell who had a tray in his bony hands where I presume people  are to lay treats. One of my children began crying "IIIIIII'M SCAAAAAARED!" so ZOOM! off we went to the paint section.

Crybaby family.

Just a question: is it too much to ask that there be a childproof lock on the paint samples? YES I'm being SERIOUS.Yeah, yeah I know: watch yo keeds, lady. Yeah I do. But those sneaky little fingers just reach around the cart and grab them pretty paint samples, mkay? I cain't be helicopterin' all the time, my peoples.

One second I looked at my young daughter and her hands were empty and the next second she had a full blown paper church fan made of paint chips in her hand.
"I like them. They're all my favorites. They're like...all so pretty," she says in her little mouse-like voice, holding approximately 50 of them and smiling sweetly. How can say no?
 I discarded them at my earliest convenience.
Don't worry. She never even noticed.

Finally we headed to the check out counter. We pull up and the cashiers try to conceal their shock at seeing my BIG HUUGE FAMILY. baha!
"Well," said the cashier, slightly out of breath. Guess what she said next? Come on, say it with me, moms: "You've got your hands full!"

Honestly, I don't usually take offense. I think it's kind of funny, actually and people usually don't mean anything by it.
As I was paying for our items, a small crowd of cashiers gathered near us to see my children. They kept saying how cute the kids are "Oh look at the baby!!" and asking  questions like "How old are you?" and "What grade are you in?"

I tell them I'm in fifth grade. No one laughs at this.

Not the kind of reaction I was going for.

Just kidding, I don't really say that! I'm holding my breath, wondering what kind of answers my kids will give or what fun little tidbits of information they might decide to spontaneously share.

The damage was minimal. They didn't even mention the laundry pile this time.

Then this awkward thing happens. This has happened to us a whole bunch of times lately. It happens when all the questions have been asked and all the comments have been made. There is just this ...silence.
The ladies are still smiling, and their heads turned to one side, but they aren't saying anything. They aren't really gawking. It's actually like they're mesmerized, like they're lost in thought about something.

Something about it is amusing and sweet, but for some reason, it also makes me feel a tiny sadness. It's like there's a little wispy feather that's floating through the air, barely visible or noticeable, but I can see it.

 We can all see it, but no one mentions it.

I don't really know what exactly the feather represents, but it feels like a sad regret.. a lost hope, a faraway desire, a wish that was never realized or maybe got squelched somewhere along the way.

And then it's gone.
Everyone snaps out of it and we're saying "Goodbye! Have a great day!"
And they're saying, "Nice meeting you kids! You be good for your mom!"
We're waving and smiling and moving along.

When I'm done getting everyone buckled into the car and I'm driving away, I find myself wondering about that moment, and what was happening in that very pregnant silence.
How was God moving at that busy cash register? Because I believe that He was.

I might never know, but I say a prayer that He was able to accomplish some good thing in that small moment.
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                                         Little Feathers
                                      by Heather Schieder

I saw a little feather, falling to the ground

My heart longed to reach out and catch it safe and sound

it swirled away from me before I could take hold

and all that I could do was watch 

a story to unfold

I saw a little feather, it made my heart ache so

I caught a glimpse of what could be...

an image made of gold

For just a sparkling moment, I saw who I could be

I felt a stirring in my heart, like a forgotten dream

It brought back memories of all that I had lost

a waking of my mind and heart

so gentle and so soft

I saw a little feather, I let it brush my cheek

and I began to wonder of new possibilities

of all that He could heal if I could just let go

of all He could transform to clay from hardened stone

                                              Through little tiny feathers, He brings a ray of light

                                                The gentle flicker of a candle shining in the night

                                                   

                                                             Remind us all of who we are

                                                             and who we're called to be 

                                                             let feathers fall down from the sky

                                                              and wake us from our sleep