Free Cheeses/ Free Jesus.

I have a question.
What is the most appropriate way in which to consume a sample at your local grocery store? Or any grocery store, really.
I am thinking of doing a Grocery Store Sample Tour across America.
What can I say? I like treats.

The other day we took the kids grocery shopping. It's a real circus when we go to the store.

First we give the lecture before we get out of the car.
You know that lecture, right?
"Listen, kids. We are going into a STORE (duh). There are lots of THINGS and PEOPLE in there and it's very BUSY. You are to STAY with us the ENTIRE time. You will keep your HANDS to YOURSELVES. You will touch NOTHING. I do not want to hear any WHINING, any CRYING, any BEGGING for anything or any FIGHTING. Does everybody hear me?"
"YEEEEEESSSSS!"
"Okay, because if you don't listen, you will not get any treats, you will sit on your beds for a half hour when we get home, and we will burn all your stuffed animals in the fire pit tonight."

NO! Wait! I'm only kidding about that last part.
But you know someone out there is like, "hmmmm I never thought of that before."

Don't do it. It's a total Joe Jackson move.
We use two carts when we go shopping. Dan takes the two little boys, and I take the two girls.
Our oldest son would die if we tried to put him in a shopping cart.

Plus, he doesn't live at home anymore. He's a man now.

Most people smile at us when we walk through the store with our kids. Once in awhile we may happen upon a Crab, but the majority of the time people are super friendly and kind towards us and our children.

Part of this is because our children really like saying hi to other people, and make it damn near impossible for anyone to snub them.

She's tryin, but she ain't gonna succeed.

People usually respond by saying hello and then asking a sweet series of questions.
You know how this goes.
"Well hellooo, children! How are youuuu? How old are each of you? What are your names? Are you having a fun summer?"
If it's near a holiday, like Christmas, people will say "Are you kids excited about Santa coming to your house?"
Some Catholics get all bent out of shape about this. I totally get it. I have been there before.
Believe me, I have gone through many a phase where "Righteous Indignation" could have been my confirmation name.
You feel this burden of responsibility, because you're all on fire for Jesus and you feel the burning call of  evangelization.
Maybe you don't do the Santa thing. That's cool - I hear you. I mean, we do the Santa thing, but lots of my friends don't.

But can I just say something?
No one's heart is touched when you go all Sanctomonious Sally or Catechism Christopher on them and say "Well, actually, we don't teach our children about Santa Claus, because Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ, and how God became man. He came into the world through the Virgin Mary so that He could suffer and die for sinners."
Is you fo real?
You think the old dude at the car parts store is going to listen to that and then say "OH PRAISE YOU JESUS!!! OH NOW I WANT TO BE A CATHOLIC (!!!) AND PUT THE CHRIST BACK INTO CHRISTMAS!!!!"

No. No. No.
He's gonna be like "Wow, what a/an                              ".
                                                                 fill in the blank

                                        
                                                     
You know what?
People don't choose Christ because they were made to feel like crap while going out of their way to be kind to someone else's children. People aren't usually inspired to follow Jesus when you shame them or make them feel like A Great Big Sinner for saying something that wasn't a direct quote out of the Baltimore Catechism.

That's not evangelization.
Please don't get me wrong.
We're certainly not called to be silent on our faith. Often we MUST speak up, and that's not being uncharitable.
We must use "Clarity and charity" just like our local Catholic radio station over here says in their slogan.
But when a perfect stranger is being kind and welcoming to your family, you want to extend some grace to them.

Sometimes we are so worried about being "right" that we just come across all wrong.
We communicate things in a condescending, know-it-all-ish way.
We think it's our job to change people.
Sometimes, we just need to free Jesus.
Yup that's right. FREE Him.
Sometimes we're keeping Jesus on lockdown by thinking of Him as just a big rule maker and a score keeper, and not a loving God who cares for us
We live in a scared, boring world that's too afraid to trust, too afraid to think outside the box, too stuck inside the rut of self to accept what (and WHO) He creates , to imagine and dream big of what He can do! And when we become people who just need to "change" other people, to control them and act in a way that's devoid of love and compassion, then we become just as terrified and boring as everybody else.
Sometimes we just need to FREE JESUS. 
Sometimes we need to just set Jesus free from the box that we have put Him in.. the stale bread boxes that are often born of our own insecurity and condescension..  and let the Holy Spirit BRING IT.

.Who needs to hear that more than ever every day? Me.
You know that quote, "People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel."?
They will. They will remember how you made them feel.
Can you remember a time when someone made you feel bad like that?
There I go, sounding like Mr Rogers again.
HAHA! It did sound just like Mr Rogers though, didn't it??
Oh snap. Let me just toss my shoes in the air here.

I can think of lots of times where someone made me feel like I wasn't a good enough Catholic, or a good enough mother, or a good enough person, or whatever, you name it.
 LOTS OF TIMES. It didn't feel very good and it did not inspire me to be a better anything.
Love is what changes people. Relationship changes people. And ultimately, it is GOD who changes people. And we can help or we can hurt the odds of that happening.
Free Jesus!!
Those folks in the store might be moved by your kind eyes, your cheerfulness, your childrens' smiles and happy or unhappy yammering and how you react to it.
Maybe they'll see your scapular hanging out of your shirt while you're talking to them. Maybe they'll see your pro life bumper sticker on your swagger wagon as you leave the parking lot. Maybe they'll overhear your child say, "Mom, is Mudder Mawee as pwetty as you?"
Ok I'm done.
You get what I'm sayin.

Back to my family shopping experience and how my children interact.
Once they get a warm reception from someone, the kids they will field questions. Then they begin offering more tidbits of information.

Soon they are just blurting out random, and even personal, news about our lives.

When that happens I just smile and start pushing the cart.

Let's move on.
Besides, I don't really want to talk so much about grocery store trips.
I really want to discuss grocery store samples.
Nothing excites Dan and I quite like Sample Day at Wegmans.

We can't get in there fast enough. It's an adrenaline rush.
They make the best samples.
We get in there and quietly form a plan of how to divide and conquer samples.
We usually split up with our carts and go from station to station, grabbing groceries along the way.
When we see each other from across the store, we make crazy, sweeping gestures and facial expressions in an effort to alert the other about particularly awesome samples.

Sme people may resort to texting in this situation.
I ain't got time to text. I'm in a bleeping hurry.

The other day we tried grilled stingray. STINGRAY, people!
It was pretty good. Kind of like steak, except not.
I ate mine with great relish as an act of revenge in memory of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
I miss that guy.

Is it me or can it be super awkward to get a sample?
First, you see the person from a distance, making the food, and you think "Oh I need to get me some of that!" , but you don't even know what the heck it is yet.
So you begin to make your way over there with your cart. Then you kind of slow down with your cart, and you sidle up to the lady at her little cooking booth or whatever you call it.
What are you suppossed to do then? You can't really say "Can I have some food?" because that's  weird and rude and it kind of makes you look like Oliver Twist.

So you give an obligatory smile, and say something like "What kind of cheese is this?" in a fake interested voice, like you're a cheese conniseur or something. You say it like you have invested interest and vast knowledge on all the different cheeses of the world.

You might even roll up and be like "Are we giving out samples today?" which is sort of naggy.
Some people (NOT.ME....EVER.) might even have the audacity to just say "Is it ready yet?"
Then the lady will usually smile at you and give you a loooooooooooong freaking spiel about the product, which is torture because all you want to do is to eat whatever she's cooking.

"Now this is our rosemary braised filet mignon with rich balsamic glaze, our steamed asparagus and baby red potatoes. First we season the filet with salt and pepper, then we heat a non-stick skillet over medium high heat -"
and inside you're just like "SHUT UP AND GIMME MY FOOD! I WANNA EAT THAT!!!!"

But instead you nod along, and say things like "Hmmm, wow. Really. I did not know that."
You don't want to seem like a jerk, even though you just want to strong-arm the filet mignon away from her, so you ask some sort of insincere question that will hopefully make you sound like you actually care about the product and may be interested in purchasing the ingredients so that you can cook up a batch of it at home.
"Is this your grass fed beef? And is it on sale?"
She begins talking but all you're thinking is BLAHBLAHBLAAAAAH, lady. Just give me my beef and stuff in a cup. I wantz my second lunch."

The other day I went up to the cheese counter and the girl was giving out samples of TWO different cheeses. TWO! Don't you get excited when it's more than one thing??

She wasn't super talkative (Thank God). Like I actually had to ask her what the stuff was.
"Oh," she said, sort of like it was an afterthought, "This one is our 12 Month Mild White Cheddar Cheese, and that one is our Rich and Buttery Triple Creme Brie."
She handed me a napkin with both cheeses.
Then she looked at my daughter Lucie. "Would you like some, too?"
"Yes please!" she said, smiling and batting her eyelashes. She's a pro at batting her eyelashes.
Anything for cheese.
I thanked the lady, telling her she didn't have to do that. She said "No problem."
Then things got awkward.
She didn't say anything. She didn't try to lecture me on cheese. She didn't say "Yes, the brie is from France's Burgundy region.It has a faint mushroomy aroma, and tastes like a cross between whipped cream and whipped butter, and it pairs perfectly with berries."
Nope. None of that nonsense.
She just stood there.
In an effort to discuss the sample (WHY? Why can't you EVER shut UP, Heather?! You're not the freaking town mayor!!!) and not appear as a greedy hungry stranger, I said "Oh, this is delicious! Is it on sale?"

And the girl started laughing. She could see right through me! THE NERVE!!!!!
You know what? It was refreshing. You could tell that she was probably thinking, "Look, I know you just want your sample. You don't want to hear about cheese origins.You're hungry. You just want to eat something. Let's not make this any more uncomfortable than it already is."

 So I just started laughing too. I looked at her and said "Thank you," in a quiet, sheepish way, and then walked away.

When we rounded the corner, Lucie looked at me and said, "Mommy? I don't really like this very much."
And for some reason that became a highlight of my day.
We're talking two small pieces of cheese in a paper napkin, here.
 And (inside) I cried "SAY NO MORE, MY DARLING. MAMA'S STILL HUNGRY. NOMNOMNOM!!!!!"

On the outside, I smiled and  said "Sure, Luc. Thanks!"
I ate that cheese with the quickness.
Sometimes in life, the good stuff is given freely. No pressure, no manipulation, no underlying motive. No lecture, no shame....
Just free.
It's certainly not a perfect allegory, but sometimes I think if we could live a little more like that cheese counter lady... man. What a world it would be.