Backyard Science: Sometimes Bats Smile When They're Dead and Other Real Bat Facts

Not to ruin your morning or anything, but recently my kids found this in the yard:

"It's time for science class!" the bat cried with a grin.

I know. Why would I do this to you??
It's messed up.
Did you notice the fly right by the bat's head? Is that sick or what??
Maybe it would be easier to stomach if I had just posted a drawing of the bat, right?
Ok then.
This time, I had my husband Dan draw a picture for you.
His drawing skills are what he considers poor, but what I consider HILARIOUS.
So are you ready?
 You ready for this bad-boy??

No, that's not one of the 50 states.

It's great, right? hahahaha ohhh man.
I personally really love that random foot-like thing off to the left side there.
So I figured, since we do's our homeschoolin thang up in here, maybe we could have
a new segment. Thus: Backyard Science.
Spoken like a real homeschool hero, right?
 You may have noticed that my grammar is poor,my colons are all over the place, I go all honey badger and capitalize whatever I want, whenever I want, cuz I do what I want.
Cartoon Badger don't care. She just draws and writes and writes and draws however she wants.
Don't be scared off, though. There's plenty of potential here. We can do some science and then you can print out my blog post and have your children correct my sentences. Or non- sentences. Whatever. (There's two right there. Here's a fourth.)
How'd I do that? MATH.
See? This is a legit Science and Language Lessons Unit Study now, with a side of math.
Please, the applause is not neccesary. I'm here to help.
Honestly, though, my family and I really love nature.
We don't live in the country, but we have a large backyard and enough wildlife around
to make things interesting.
Also, just so you know, I am a die-hard bird fan.
My mother is actually Bird Fan Numero Uno.
I remember she woke us up at 6 am once while we were on a camping trip,
so that we could go on a birdwatching hike.
My dad kept right on sleeping in the tent.

I was never one to hide my misery.

I was NOT a fan then.
But now I understand her obsession, and have followed suit.
And my husband and kids all love birds now.
My 18 year old likes to mock me for it. I smile calmly while he snickers.

Inside I think, "Laugh it up, chucklehead. When you're 30, you'll own three pairs of binoculars
and a million birdfeeders. And you will purchase only the finest birdseed and suet cakes for those feeders. I'll be right there to watch your kids make their little jokes about dad the Bird Nerd".
So kids, what do you know about bats?
I bet you know that they are kind of scary and creepy.
I'm not gonna lie to you guys..they really scare the HECK out of ME.
Interesting fact #1: Bats are the only mammal that can fly.


"Look at me!!!! I'm FLYING!!!!! I'm FLYYYYYIIIING!!!!!"
Another one of Mr Dan's masterpieces.

Here's some animals who are feeling sad that they can't fly.

Well they are.
Flying squirrels and sugar gliders can only glide, but bats can fly around and around like Superman.

Sir, that is NOT Superman.

Fact # 2: Bats are nocturnal animals.
You know what that means right?
Hint: Some of you kids are nocturnal. You make your parents cry.

It means they are awake at night and asleep during the day.
Bats stay up all night and fly around and eat bugs. They eat ALOT of bugs.

Fact #3: Bats can eat an enormous amount of bugs in a short amount of time.
In fact, one brown bat alone can eat 1,000 bugs an hour!!
 Holy smokes, Batman!! That's disgusting.
Man, now I feel really sad about that little dead bat in my yard.
I mean, he could've eaten sooo many bugs! Less bug bites for us.
 I want to go out and buy a whole bunch of bats.
Just kidding. You can't buy bats, silly!
Check this out, though:
"According to Bat Conservation International, 150 big brown bats can eat enough cucumber beetles in one summer to save farmers a billion dollars a year."

Most real farmers probably do not dress like this. At least we hope not.

Fact #4: Bat poop makes excellent fertilizer.
Bat poop is called "guano". It's suppossed to be a great fertilizer because it has plenty of phosphorus and nitrogen. It's very useful, mainly in tropical regions.
Fact #5: Bats can hang upside down for many of their activities. 
Why? Well,it helps them to fly away quickly in case of an emergency.
They can sleep and eat and even mate upside down.
(Parents: I don't even ....moving right along...)
Also - and this is crazy! -  say a bat is hanging upside down and it suddenly dies.
Guess what?? It keeps on hanging upside down!!!!
Until something makes it fall.
OH THE HORROR!!!!!!

This gives me the shivers.

Fact # 6: The whole "blind as a bat" thing is a lie.
Yup. Bats aren't really blind. Many of them actually have incredible eyesight!
They can even see well in the dark.
The fruit bat has huge eyes that bulge out of it's head.

Some bats who can't see as well rely on their other senses.
They can "see" with their ears by using a technique called "echolocation".
Here's how it works, according to Discovery Kids:
 "A bat echolocates by sending out streams of high-pitched sounds through its mouth or nose.
These signals then bounce off nearby objects and send back echoes.
By "reading" these echoes with its super-sensitive ears, the bat can determine the location, distance, size, texture and shape of an object in its environment.
In some cases, a bat can even use echoes to tell insects that are edible apart from those that aren't. And even bats which have been blinded can catch their food without a hitch this way."

But the most shocking, interesting bat fact I have for you today is this:
Fact # 7: During the Civil War, bat droppings were used to make gun powder.

WHAT!!!! Read more about that here.
Wow, you learn something new every day, huh?

Not a Civil War reenactment.

My 7 year old son, JP, wanted to share this picture with you. Do you know what's coming out of the cannon?
Poop.
He says those guys with the swords are trying to keep the poop away from themselves.
 Isn't that just SOMETHING.
Sooooo.. that's about it for today.
Oh wait! Do you wanna try your hand at some bat crafts?
Here's one. Here's another. Oh look, you can eat this one!!
Can't get enough of bats? You need more??
Here's a pretty sweet bat identification chart  and a link to a unit study (Just click on the chart)!!!!
Now you're all set to become a bat expert:)
Oh hey kids...remember that bat noise I drew up there? You know the one:
"SQUUUUEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!"?
Please  do your parents a favor and try not to do that around them too much.

Bad idea, little girl.

Sometimes us moms and dads have sensitive ears, kind of like bats do.
If you make the "squee" noise too much, they might never let you do Backyard Science here again, ok?
OK:)
See you next time!!!!
squuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.