For the Love of Burpees

Hello poor, poor neglected blog and poor, neglected friends.

First, some news: I GOT NEW MARKERS!!!!

Sorry for the long break, but March has not been my friend. Little known fact about me: I hate March and April. They're depressing, cold, stupid, cold, hateful, cold, pointless months of the year. At least in Buffalo.

Who out there is dying of the cold? I must say, even though I love winter, I think this weather is breaking me. And besides that, it's spring.

Last night we got five inches of snow.

Do you hear that sound? What's that whistling sound outside your window? Is it the wind? Is it a tin whistle?

No. It is my soul dying.

If I were a quiet old librarian with nothing to do but lay around and read books and bake decadent chocolate cakes, I sincerely would not mind this long winter. I would, in fact, relish it.

I don't think that looks like a cake.

I would walk around in some quiet town, probably on their Main Street, sipping a hot cup of yummy latte, bundled up in a cute woolen coat, with a pretty knitted scarf and mittens, and I would smile aimlessly at the sky and the shop windows and people walking by. I would think about things like quilts and novels and all the knitting in the world.

But I am not a quiet librarian. I am a loud mother who has had it up to here with the noise that four small children can generate after spending nearly an entire winter indoors.

So, let's talk about fitness.

Maybe you're wondering how I'm doing with this whole "getting healthy" thing. Well, I'm still going strong.

A few Tuesday nights ago, I had a workout session and we had to do burpees. I don't understand why someone would call this hellish physical movement a "burpee" when most burps are actually quite relieving, but I guess I have a lot to learn.

As I'm sure you can already imagine, my version of doing a burpee was nothing less than startlingly awful. Picture someone engulfed in icy water, trying again and again to pull themselves to a standing position on a small piece of glacier floating nearby, and you have some idea of what I look like.

Picture a large boned person trying to peel a quarter off the ground, then standing up, red faced, huffing and puffing while saying "NEVERMIND!" in complete frustration, and there you have me doing a burpee.

TIMBERRRRR!!!!

 God have mercy on that sidewalk.

I really don't understand how these other human beings that I exercise with are able to do such things.

Normally I have a good sense of humor about my failures at the gym, but after doing a bunch of moves that definitely did NOT look like burpees, I was getting pretty upset.

 It's embarrassing for me to admit, but...I was very close to crying. I could just feel this lump in my throat, tears stinging my eyes, and I was freaking out inside: "NO! What are you DOING, Self?! YOU CANNOT CRY HERE!" because you KNOW that the worst place to have that happen is in public, in front of people you barely know.

All I wanted to do was go home. I wanted to get through the stupid workout so that I could leave and cry in my truck all the way home.

Then during a water break, I decided to tell one of the other women who I work out alongside that I was having a hard time. Her name is Tina and she has been through the program before. This is her third challenge. She's somebody that many people look to as an example and she's very encouraging.

She could see I was pretty upset. She told me not to worry, I'm doing great. "Just try to do really slow burpees. It doesn't matter how fast you go, just try to get it right and go at your own pace. I'll tell one of the trainers to keep an eye on you. You can do it, just don't give up."

I took her advice. I went slower, slow as an ox, and I didn't feel as clumsy this time.

Someone's looking insecure.

At the end of every workout session, they always give us a challenge. This one was optional. We were told that we could do burpees for 90 seconds straight, or some other exercises if we wanted.

I chose burpees, and I went the whole 90 seconds! Again - they were slow and sad looking, but the main thing is that I DID THEM!

Pardon my horn.

I've been doing them more and more since then and I'm getting better and better.

Sometimes you just need someone to give you a little boost, to encourage you and tell you not to give up. We all need that, don't we? We do.

When I drove home that night, I never shed a tear. I think I sweat them all out during burpees.