Confession, Cupcakes, & The Time a Giraffe Puked On Me

*Joining Jen again for 7 posts in 7 days. *

GUESS WHAT??

My first week and I am down 3.2 pounds!!

Last night I was planning on posting,  but it was also the night before JP's first confession, and I had to make a choice: make all of my invisible friends laugh, or be a good parent and go over the whole confession thing once again.

Just kidding. You're not invisible to me, friends.

I'm happy to report that I chose to be a good parent.

 We are very fortunate to have an excellent religious ed program at our parish, plus I ordered Kendra's  new book "A Little Book About Confession For Children". It is AWESOME. I definitely recommend it for anyone with children preparing for confession or even children who have already begun. It's concise and very helpful. So shout out to Kendra for writing such a great book, and add this woman to the list of other great women who've been crankin out great books this year.


After JP's first confession, Dan and I wanted to celebrate but we didn't have a lot of time because I had an 11:45 am workout scheduled and we had a lot of other stuff to do too. We decided to take the kids to a local cupcakery that we love.

You know what THAT means. It's Cracker Barrel time time all over again. Hoo boy.

But this time, it was different.

First off, I gotta say I LOVE cupcakes. Probably more than is legally allowed. My love for cupcakes has crossed some serious boundaries.

So when I tell you that I was able to sit in that cupcakery and not cheat and not stuff my face with delicious, mouth watering, tantalizing cupcakes, please know that this is no small thing.

I think part of it is definitely that I'm a full week into this thing and good habits are being formed.

The other part, though, is that I decided to change my focus. Instead of sitting there feeling all sorry for myself, I chose to make this a time where I could serve my family. So I let them enjoy their food and I cut up cupcakes (they're really big, so we buy a couple and everybody splits), and got them whatever they needed. And you know what? I felt really good.

I only felt a tiny twinge of sadness, but I felt mostly really good.

This was providential, because I don't want this time of me getting healthy to be a time of white knuckling misery. I want it to be positive, and I want it to be a time where I can exercise a spirit of discipline and service. You know, all the Greats were and are disciplined people, and I wanna be great too. I mean, like, I want to be the best version of Heather that I can be, and I'm at my finest when I am serving others in a balanced, healthy way.

So I did that, and I also got to sip on a delicious, unsweetened herbal tea.

Nah, it wasn't really delicious. I mean, it was OKAY, but it wasn't anything to write the Dowager Countess about, that's fo sho. It made me remember that I want to visit Teavana soon and get something new. I think their teas are exceptional.

Except for one of their teas, which I take issue with.

This tea is the "Monkey Picked Oolong Tea".

Maybe it's just me, but I associate monkeys with fur-picking, bug nibbling and poop throwing, and I don't understand why on God's green earth anyone would want a monkey to pick their tea.  Really, people, what are you thinking? You know what monkeys do with their hands, right? Monkeys pick themselves.  IT'S DISGUSTING.

It makes me think of a trip I took with my oldest son and some friends of mine when he was about seven years old. We went to African Lion Safari in Ontario.

Aren't you glad I'm not the one who designed the real Garden of Eden??

For years I had viewed the commercials of this place and imagined it to be some sort of illustrious Garden of Eden on earth, where monkeys swing from tree to tree, antelopes run wild in herds across the land, and lions stalk their prey like the stealthy predators they are.

Instead what we found were about a few grossly overfed lions, lying around in the hot sun as if they were dead. It was very depressing. We honked at them and even lowered the car windows to shout at them, hoping to rouse their blood thirsty spirits and get their attention, but the lions could not have been more bored.

I meant to make those lions look obese.

There were other animals, too, but nothing especially exciting. Oh wait, yes...I remember why I even brought this whole thing up..there were these little monkeys that jumped all over the cars, but they were just gross. I mean would you really cross the United States border so that some filthy little monkey could climb all over your car windows and soil them in a hideous manner with his rear end? Where's the thrill in that?!

The last thing I remember from that long, uninspiring trip was when I made the mistake of opening my car window near a few of the giraffes who were milling around. A giraffe actually stuck his head into my window. I was in the backseat.

Someone in the front seat freaked out and started closing my window, and the giraffe's neck got stuck in the window.  Then - and this is the stuff nightmares are made of - the giraffe puked on me. Right on my lap.

NO. Just no.

Whom of the world's population can state for the record that they have been vomited on by a giraffe? Not many, I tell you. We are a rare breed. But we are a breed, and a courageous one at that.

Side note: giraffes have such long necks, and I wonder how their whole vomiting process goes. I bet when it goes up the neck, it's sort of like going up that first awful hill on a roller coaster.

IRONY.

Just something to look into for Unit Study purposes.

I promise I'll stop being gross...sometime soon.

So the moral here is: sacrament prep over blogging, service over cupcakes, NO monkeys picking your tea, and African Lion Safari is kinda depressing. OH! AND I LOST 3.2 POUNDS!!!:)

Well. That's the end of this post. Tune in next time where I'll share who knows what.