The Time I Almost Starved In Public (aka Yesterday)

SO! First things first. I'm blogging every day with Jen of Conversion Diary, of course! And lucky for you, I gotz lots to write about, because as it turns out, I'm back on my special journey.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. Please, before we go any further, I need someone to start playing the violin.

It ain't Yo Yo Ma, but it'll have to do.

Ah. That's much better.

On Saturday, I began a new journey in my life. Remember how we haven't talked about my weight loss in like a super long time? Well that's because it wasn't happening. 

No more, folks.

Remember my walks?  Well,  my knees are bad.

Look how miserable they are!

Plus it's winter.  It's not easy to go for walks in winter because the streets are filled with snow.

Winter is also the time when I like to bulk up like the animals do. I put on what I tactfully call "my winter layer".

This is only to keep me warm, of course. Hey, I told you..Buffalo is a frozen land.

I don't see a problem with this. It's perfectly natural.

Also, I don't know if I've taken a lot of time to express this to you, but I really like food. I love it so much! I especially love snacks right before bed.

You're not supposed to eat then.

Hurry up and eat what you can! It's almost bedtime and you won't be able to eat in your sleep!

Yesterday was my gorgeous nephew's baptism. He is so adorable! I just love him. And BONUS! Dan and I are the Godparents, so that made it extra special. What a blessing and an honor it is for us to be Godparents to sweet little Edmond. Son, I hope you know what you're in for. 

The baptism was the happy part of my day.

But then..okay someone needs to start playing some scary music. Some kind of thunderous piano, please.

Okay, there. That's just the mood I'm trying to convey.

Then we all went to Cracker Barrel. But here's the thing. This new diet I'm on? Well, you're not supposed to eat Cracker Barrel food. And on Sundays, you're only supposed to eat fruit. And some of those Sundays, you're supposed to fast for part of the day. So I wasn't allowed to eat anything until AFTER FOUR O CLOCK. 

Let me say that once more: I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO EAT ANYTHING UNTIL FOUR O'CLOCK.

 4 o'clock = almost nighttime.

As we waited in line for what seemed like forever, I turned to Mary's mom and said "Mrs E, I'm just gonna say it right here: you might have to cradle me in your arms while I sob in this place."

Almost touching hands.

She was very kind about it and didn't run away from me, but I knew in my heart she was not gonna hold my grown ass in her arms at the CB.

Do you know how much I love Cracker Barrel? Honey you don't even understand the love I have for CB. I love the food, I love the decor, I love the big, comfy rocking chairs and the checkerboard table. I love reading the framed vintage newspapers on the walls that tell me how Delores Winkelmeister baked lemon pies for her church picnic in the summer of 1875 and everybody loved the hell out of em, but then they all went home and died. 

Nah, I just made that one up. But you get what I'm sayin. I loves me some history.

Anyway, I'm at the damn Cracker Barrel with my whole family and a bunch of strangers who are eating fried chicken and turnip greens and frickin pancakes with whipped cream and strawberry sauce and thick sliced bacon, and what did I order?

A bowl of fresh fruit.

FRESH FRUIT!!!! AT THE CRACKAH BARREL!!!! Where they serve meatloaf sandwiches and fried catfish and Salads n Such and Vegetables n Sides and Fancy Fixin's!!!! 

Yup. It was sad. I almost cried! While my own family - my own husband and children - ate delicious, fragrant, fried food, I numbly ate a bowl of fresh pineapple, blueberries and blackberries. I mean, those are great fruits if you're at, like, a baby shower or some kind of ladies luncheon, but NOT. AT. CRACKER BARREL. 

Did I mention that they seated us directly in front of the gigantic fireplace with a roaring fire crackling away in it? Lemme ask you somethin..have you ever sat in front of a fireplace in the dead of winter and eaten a bowl of fruit?? 

No you have not, because people don't eat fruit in front of a fire in the dead of winter. They sip hot cocoa and eat molasses cookies  or chow down on melted brie wheels with wine and crackers. The only living beings who eat fruit in front of a glowing fire are souls in hell.

Which is no laughing matter.

Here are some pictures of me eating my bowl of fruit. In these pictures, you can sense my utter despair.

Side view.

Back of my head view. 

Other side view.

Dan was so nice and supportive about the whole thing. He tried to hide his meatloaf dinner from me, which I appreciated. He told me how proud of me he was. He used the gentle voice.

You remember my gentle voice, right? Oh you'll be hearing that again, trust me.

At some point, I thought I would look over at Mrs E for some compassion because she was seated at a nearby table and my own mother was halfway across the restaurant happily eating some platter of something that I bet wasn't fruit. 

Shamelessly fishing for sympathy.

I had a slice of banana on my fork. I looked over at Mrs E, holding up my fork and made a very sad face in her direction. She smiled at me and held up a piece of fried chicken. And I think her laugh was slightly wicked, to be honest.

Why Mrs E?!?!? WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!

So that was my first real day of making hardcore changes in my eating habits. You know what? I'm proud of myself. It was difficult , but I feel this major sense of accomplishment that I didn't cave.

This morning, I worked out at the gym for the first day of my challenge, and it was eventful! I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.